Caring For An Elderly Parent: Happy/Unhappy 4th of July

Blog - 109“This is supposed to be the time of my life – the nest is empty; but now Mom needs me.”

We knew Mom would not be happy about us going away for the 4th of July holiday, but my husband and I really need this. We don’t get away for vacations often but we’ve been spending the 4th in Vegas for probably about the last 5 years. We combine my birthday and my husbands birthday with the 4th since they are so close and make it a night of fun and relaxation. Our son and his girlfriend have been joining us for the last few years as well, so it’s been a great trip.

Last year was a bit of a disaster telling Mom we were going and not including her. She just doesn’t understand the scope of Vegas though. I tried explaining to her about all the walking, the crowds, the 115 degree weather, the smoke, the noise…. the list goes on. Everything Mom hates. Not to mention that my husband and I just want to get away and have no worries while we are there.

There in lies a problem if Mom comes along. It’s unfortunate, but Mom is just not capable of handling the Vegas situation. If anyone has been there then you know it’s a fast paced city – something Mom cannot cope with. And what about the stress on me and my husband? Going for only one night, we like to get as much entertainment in as possible, and we usually stay up until the wee hours of the morning.

I’m sorry Mom doesn’t understand and I realize it’s not really about going to Vegas – it’s more about being at home without us, but there has to be boundaries and my husband and I need our own space. Bottom line. Mom will have a caregiver with her who she knows so she’ll be looked after, so I am quite comfortable with heading out of town – I’m actually really looking forward to it.

What I Learned: I need time with my husband and I shouldn’t feel guilty about it.


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