“This is supposed to be the time of my life – the nest is empty; but now Mom needs me.”

It’s been a while since Mom has called me in the middle of the night – which has been awesome for me! I’m not sure why she called last night but she did. I went over there about 3 am because she seemed frantic on the phone about not knowing what to do. When I got there she was just sitting there wondering what she should be doing. I explained to her that it was 3 am and there was nothing she HAD to do – no medication to take or anything like that.

She was very upset that she felt confused – just wasn’t sure about anything. Honestly, I really didn’t know what to do. My emotions were mixed – I was upset that I was over there at 3 am and couldn’t do anything, and I was feeling sad for Mom because she just seemed so lost. It’s like she understands she is confused but doesn’t know why.

I just stood there trying to say something to console her but didn’t really know what to say. I didn’t want to tell her that it’s normal for someone her age to be feeling like this because Mom is so determined to not be like other elderly people. I finally told her she should go back to sleep, and when she wakes up it will be morning and she’ll be into her normal routine

For some reason Mom feels that when she wakes up she should be doing all sorts of things – I guess like she used to years ago when she was capable. It’s a funny thing really…. at times her mind seems so lost and other times it’s like her mind is 40 years old but her body is 90. It must be so frustrating at times for her.

I wish there was something I could do to help Mom through her tough times.

What I Learned: Elderly people can feel helpless at times but their caregiver can also feel helpless.