“This is supposed to be the time of my life – the nest is empty; but now Mom needs me.”
I never thought I’d by playing hide and seek at this stage in my life, but having Mom on the property has brought on a lot of game playing. I have to admit, my husband and I have become very creative in dealing with ways to spend time alone. It may sound childish, but I’ve come to realize that honesty is not always the best policy when it comes to an ageing parent.
In my situation, my mom has a terrible time dealing with being alone – especially after dark. I’m pretty sure that’s a common trait for people who are ageing. I also know that my mom would freak out if she knew we were not on the property at certain times – I know this because she is always calling me and asking if we are home.
Today was a particularly funny situation. First of all, I should mention that my husband and I are terrible at sneaking up, around, or out of any situation – if we are trying to go unnoticed it’s a given that we’ll get caught. So we decided to go grab a pizza for dinner, sit out back (just the two of us) with a margarita and enjoy the beautiful summer evening.
Just as we walked around the corner of our house we see Mom opening her back door (which opens up to our courtyard) throwing treats out to the dog. Oh oh…. busted! Both my husband and I flatten ourselves up against the fence and side step it as quickly as possible to the gate. I can’t believe she didn’t see us! I’m sure if anyone had seen us we would have looked pretty silly. I slowly and quietly opened the gate and we jumped in the truck and headed out. Will Mom still be at her door when we get back? You bet.
Now we need a plan to get back in without her seeing us – or if she does, have a plan of what to say. So again, I slowly and quietly open the gate. My husband grabs the pizza and I run defense. If Mom sees us, I can distract her while he sneaks past with the food. Well all that planning for nothing – her door was open but she wasn’t there…. so that was a good thing. I’m not the type who feels very good about making things up, but in our situation I feel it’s better to say and do things that won’t upset Mom.
So everything turned out fine. My husband and I had a nice relaxing dinner out back and Mom was none the wiser.
What I Learned: Some game playing is needed when caring for an elderly parent.